You Matter Nashville

Starfish Infertility Foundation with Kara Edwards

• Jason and Mindy Hoover • Episode 8

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In this episode of "You Matter Nashville," we have a heartfelt conversation with Kara Edwards, the founder of the Starfish Infertility Foundation. Kara opens up about her own challenging journey with infertility, sharing the emotional and financial hurdles she and her husband faced, including the lack of insurance coverage for treatments. These experiences inspired her to create the foundation, which provides financial assistance and emotional support to couples struggling with infertility.

Kara explains the mission of her foundation: to help alleviate the burdens of infertility by offering grants, and educational resources, and fostering a compassionate community. She highlights the importance of raising awareness and advocating for legislative changes to ensure better insurance coverage for infertility treatments. Throughout our conversation, she shares touching stories of families who have received grants from her foundation and have successfully welcomed children into their lives.

We talk about the significance of community support, empathy, and the power of advocacy in making a positive impact. Kara’s dedication to helping others on their journey to parenthood is truly inspiring, and her story serves as a reminder to all of us to support and get involved in meaningful causes.

Takeaways

  • The Starfish Infertility Foundation provides grants and support to couples going through infertility who cannot afford treatment.
  • Researching fertility clinics is crucial to ensure the best chances of success.
  • Infertility treatments can be financially burdensome, and better insurance coverage is needed.
  • Many people only need simple fixes, such as medication, to address their infertility.
  • The foundation is named after the starfish story, emphasizing the impact of helping even just one person. The Starfish Infertility Foundation provides support and financial assistance to individuals and couples navigating the challenges of infertility.
  • The foundation aims to alleviate the emotional and financial burdens of infertility by funding treatments, offering educational resources, and fostering a compassionate community.
  • The foundation obtained its 501C3 status after about 10 months of fighting to run the foundation independently and ensure transparency with donors' money.
  • The foundation offers major grants, up to $10,000, and mini-grants, which allow donors to connect with the couples they are supporting.
  • The foundation has been involved in advocating for legislation to improve insurance coverage for infertility treatments and has successfully shown legislators the importance of coverage and the minimal impact it would have on insurance costs.
  • People are encouraged to continue writing to their legislators to raise awareness and support for infertility issues.


Starfish Infertility Foundation
https://starfishinfertilityfoundation.org/

You Matter Nashville YouTube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/@YouMatterNashville

The Hoover Team
https://www.thehooverteam.com/

Jason & Mindy Hoover (00:00.098)
Hey, Nashvilleans, welcome to the You Matter Nashville podcast, the place where every story we share is a celebration of you, the heartbeat of our community. I'm Jason Hoover, delighted to be one half of your hosting duo. And I'm Mindy Hoover, joining you alongside Jason to bring the stories of inspiring individuals and unsung heroes making a positive impact right here in our hometown. Every episode is about passions, dreams and actions that stitch together the Middle Tennessee community. So if you're looking to get inspired by the good happening around us,

Or if you want to hear from the change makers who believe, just like us, that you matter, then hit that follow button on your favorite podcast platform. And if you are looking to make a move in the middle Tennessee area, and Dan and I are real estate professionals and would be honored to serve you with excellence. Now let's dive into another episode of You Matter Nashville.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (00:51.65)
Welcome to You Matter Nashville, where we interview community heroes making a positive impact. I am Jason Hoover. And I am Mindy Hoover. And I'm so excited to have our next guest with us today. We have Kara Edwards from the Starfish Infertility Foundation. She is the founding or founding member, founder. And we can't wait to hear all that she has to say and how she got to this place. Hey, Kara, how are you doing today? Hey, I am fantastic. How are you guys?

just living the dream. Well, I appreciate your time. I appreciate you coming on here and sharing about your foundation, but also sharing about your personal journey, which led you from my understanding to this. But before we dive into all of that, would you share with our audience the name of your organization and kind of a high level of what you do?

So I am the founder of Starfish Infertility Foundation. And basically what the foundation does is we are a 501c3 nonprofit and we generate funds, raise funds to award grants to couples going through infertility that are unable to come up with the financial means to pay for it. We also offer support for those going through it. Just kind of a listening ear, some...

blogs, you know, those type of things to try to let people know they're not alone going through it. It's very isolating, but that we're here for them. You know, saying isolating, that's a, that's a key word because that really, that causes depression. That causes people to really give up. know, that's why, you know, we love people like you that are out there helping to try to help people feel

not isolated that, you know, there's other people like you. yeah, that is one of the things that I love about your organization is that you had this journey and you didn't have or you didn't have somebody to lean on. that correct? No resources and everything. You saw that need, right? I did. Yes. So tell me. Yeah, go ahead.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (03:16.546)
Tell us a little bit about your story. My husband and I married and I was in my early 30s. It wasn't like I married in my late 40s or something. I thought I was doing it the right way. You get your career together, you buy a home, you get married and you kind of do it in the order that I thought was the best way to do it. Good foundation.

And we couldn't get pregnant. We tried and tried and tried, couldn't get pregnant. And so we ended up finally going to a doctor and trying to figure out what was going on, what was wrong and, and tried for some more, did some medications, you know, did, did a few things and still wasn't working. And so we ended up deciding to go an IUI route, which is, I call it the turkey baster method, basically for lack of.

The simpler term. Turkey baster method. I love that. Just saying. I mean, that's just kind of what it is. Hey, that's going to be a clip. Join me now to hear about the turkey baster method. And that didn't work. So we ended up having to move on to IVF. And when we did so, I'll never forget the first conversation I had with my insurance agent called

just trying to find out what our coverage was. Is it an 80 -20 split still? know, did they cover the meds and maybe not, whatever it was. And she almost verbatim said, we're not gonna cover any of this. And I was taken aback by it and I said, what do you mean? It's a disease. I mean, I have infertility, it's been diagnosed. I had endometriosis, which was probably part of the cause. And she, her response to me was, well,

you don't need a child to live. And I just thought, well, that's just the most insensitive crazy thing I've heard. hits you in the heart. It just, I mean, shatters you because I guess technically you're right. You don't. I'm not going to die if I don't have a child, but is life really worth living if you want something like that so, so deeply? So I asked her, I said, okay, so

Jason & Mindy Hoover (05:36.588)
This wasn't my choice, obviously. It's a disease I have. I didn't do anything to get it. I did nothing wrong. But if I start smoking and smoke the rest of my life, will you cover my lung cancer? And she said, yes, we will. my God. I know, I know. It does not make any sense. it was just absolutely incredibly backwards. So we went in for our first cycle.

Here in Nashville and I was learning everything from the baseline. I didn't know anybody that had gone through it. There was very little information Well, I say very little there's a lot of information, but I never know what's true, know, you know I say don't go to dr. Google So, you know, I was really I was really trying to just really listen to the doctors and follow their advice and follow what they were telling you and I'll never forget being in the first

training we had for for doing injections and there was a young couple in there and they said You know, this is our one and only shot. This is it. We have pulled together every single thing we can Possibly come up with and this is it if it doesn't work. We're out And there was just this in that group there was probably four couples there was just you know, this little camaraderie of

We were all going through it. We could all kind of talk about what it was really feeling like at the time. And so when we left there, I told my husband, said, you know, when we get on the other side of this and have our children, which of course I assumed was going to be the very first round, like it's just, it's IVF, it's successful. Said, I really want to start a foundation that not only helps raise money for people that need these type of issues, that have these type of issues, but also just

to be that listening ear of somebody that's gone through it because I didn't have anybody during that time. So you had talked about the expense. What are you looking at for one round? And like you said, many people have to go through multiple rounds. Sure. So depending on the clinic you go to, and most of the time I say you are going to get what you pay for. So one thing I always stress

Jason & Mindy Hoover (08:01.24)
to people no matter what, whether they're in the middle of it or just starting to go through it or anything else, is always, always, always research your clinic. There's a couple websites, the one I use the most is called sart .org. And you can actually look up your clinic and you can see their success rates and look up your age range and kind of maybe what your diagnosis is and see what their success is.

Because a cycle, one IVF cycle can range anywhere from 7 ,000 to 25 or 30 ,000. Now, if you're a 22 year old, maybe you don't need something that's super, super specialized. For me, I was at that point, because years had gone by, in my later 30s. And so for me, I really wanted the best. Exactly. Time was ticking. Time was very much ticking for me, yes.

Yeah, that's so going back to that one couple. That's why they were saying this is our one shot. It's it's that financial. Yeah, the expense, that financial burden, if you will, that you don't plan on as a young couple. And we're in a time where people are having a hard time like saving up for their first house. And they're also having to put pretty much a house down payment on having children.

I mean, that's a huge thing to choose between if you're having to choose. It's very much so. And to most people, to me, that wouldn't have been a choice. I will take a child over a down -to -life day. However, the flip side is you want to bring children into the world in a home, right? We're not saying, well, I'd rather drive a Ferrari than a Chrysler. mean, it's just those choices shouldn't have to be made.

When it's nothing that you have done, it's not the fault of yourself or your spouse. But just enough people don't talk about it to make you really truly understand that it's not you. It's truly not something that you've done. And the crazy thing is, is that so many people have this issue. I I guarantee that everyone either has a friend or just acquaintance or somebody they work with that are facing this issue and just have no idea at the financial burden that it gives people.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (10:26.73)
Yes, that's so true. When we were going through it, I didn't know anybody because when we first started doing it, I was pretty open about it for the most part. I kind told people we were struggling and I got the always lovely advice of, just don't think about it. Don't try so hard. You're probably stressed out. Right. If you don't try, hey, guess what? If it's God's timing, it'll work. And listen, I

I'm a very, very strong Christian. love Jesus. But hearing that it'll happen when it's supposed to happen is not very comforting in the moment. So, you you get all these words of advice. Well, why don't you just adopt? First of all, just adopting is not simply going to the grocery store and picking out what type of apple you want. OK, let's stop calling it just adopting. OK, because adopting is a very, very, very

long road. It's a very, very, very expensive road. And I believe it's a calling. I think people are called to adopt. And so I had a lot of guilt put on me about why I didn't just adopt instead of wanting my own children. There were so many children out there that needed homes. Why was I being so selfish? With that - That's really hard to deal with. It is hard to deal with. So you mentioned that

What are some things that you would kind of like put on the no list? Things you don't say to mothers who are having issues with this? Well, first of all, you don't ask somebody without children why they don't have children yet. You you don't pressure them into saying, so when are those babies coming? Six months after they've gotten married, right? I had no idea how many people were going through this and living through this, even in my friends group until

we actually got pregnant, I decided that because I had shut down after our first cycle failed, I blocked everybody out. I thought, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear, you know, they're well intentioned, most of them, but I just, couldn't deal with it anymore. So I blocked everybody out, didn't tell anybody. But then when we did finally find our success with our twins, I knew I had to make an announcement about it. And I decided I was going to be

Jason & Mindy Hoover (12:52.076)
an open book. And so our announcement video was everything that we had gone through. I love that in order to find in order to finally culminate in this pregnancy. And I posted that because I had seen so many pregnancy announcements that were, you know, they're painful. They're not meant to be. No one means to cause you pain, but they were they were painful to watch or to see. So I decided I was going to be truthful with mine.

So I got out there and I put it all out there and my messages and my, you know, DMs, I mean, blew up with not just people congratulating me, but with people saying, so and so is an IVF baby. My daughter's an IVF baby. My grandson is an IVF, my goodness, like I had no idea. And it just blew my mind that all these people had been down this road and I didn't know it. That we had this huge support community.

right around us that I never knew of. And everybody was isolated. And everybody was isolating themselves and partly because people that are well -intentioned unintentionally say the wrong thing. Yeah. for me it's why not just adopt? Why aren't you adopting? You know, there's so many kids. Why don't you foster to adopt? Why don't you? They're trying to help get your mind off of what you're trying to do. And I understand that and I love them for that.

but all it does is puts this huge mound of guilt on your shoulders as to how dare you want what most of these people have, but how dare you want that for yourself? So the first thing I would say is leave that off the table. And truthfully, I think it's more about what you can do versus what you shouldn't do. And really people say, what should I do? I'll get a phone call that says, you know, I just found out.

best friends going through this or my sister or whatever, how do I react? How do I help her? And I say, you listen, you learn. I was in it from the beginning and I knew nothing. I was learning everything. But I had this sister -in of mine, Jennifer, that she learned almost as much as I did. She was looking things up. She was talking to me about it. She was just being a sounding board for me sometimes when I had a rough day. so that in itself was far more than

Jason & Mindy Hoover (15:16.94)
than any sort of advice somebody could have given me. Right. And so your first go at it did not happen. So do you mind sharing how many times it did take? I know you shared with us. yes. So we went four rounds. We did three here in Nashville. And I will, let me say this.

did not know about researching my clinic until after. This was something that no one had ever told me. You don't know what you don't know. Exactly. And I didn't know. So I went in talking to a doctor saying, wow, I feel great about this. I have no idea if this doctor's even ever performed IVF, but I felt great about this bedside manner. So I went to a second clinic here.

just for a different opinion, second opinion after the first couple rounds didn't work and loved his bedside manner, loved everything. And it was a disaster. My third round was an absolute disaster. The clinic has now been shut down as of couple months ago because clearly this was something that was happening over and over again. So round four, it really wasn't even meant to be round four. My round three doctor had said,

You're done. You're too old. At this point, I think I was 37. You're too old. You need to stop trying. You need to use donor eggs. need to... This is just your past, your prime. Wow. Wow. Okay. Yeah. So I then started learning how to research clinics. And at the time, the number one clinic in the country was a place called CCRM in Denver, in Lundtree. And Dr. Schoolcraft was the number one doctor in the country. And I thought...

I need him to tell me, no. I need to at least go through testing and I need him to sit me down and say, you know what, honey, this just isn't for you. Because I thought at least at that point I could walk away from it and maybe look at other options and have peace. But I did never want to look back and say, what if. So my husband and I agreed, let's just go for testing.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (17:37.634)
Let's just see what he says. And he said, no, we need to move forward. This is exactly what you should do. And we did. And thank God, you know, every day that we did that. And not just one. And not just one. We got, we, as he said, we hit the, you know, the one in a million, you know, jackpot because we got not only twins, but we got boy girl twins. So one of each. That's fantastic. You know, I would imagine there was

there were thoughts and maybe discussions between you and your husband. Even after the first one, do we continue, especially with the, you know, how much it does cost? Was that something that really weighed heavy on you? Yes. I mean, absolutely. I think, and to be honest, I think a lot of times I put out a front of how

My marriage was even stronger and even better and even wonderful because we were going through all these challenges when the truth was at the time it was really hard. And not to say that all men don't have this instinct that, you know, women seem to have to be mothers. But he was, he wanted children. wasn't that he didn't. It was just, he was happy. He was fine. You know, it wasn't such a life altering.

thing for him at the time because he didn't have it. And like you said, what you don't know, you don't know. So he didn't know what it was like to be a father. And he just thought, you know what? I have a great life. We have a great marriage. And why not just be happy with what we have? And I'll never forget a very long conversation we had. This was after the third round because we'd have these little conversations. I, when I set my mind to something, I just go.

Like I just, you're not going to tell me, no, I'm just, I'm good at that. Yeah. And so, so after the third round, you know, we really had to now sit down. hit mortgage to our house, or had a second mortgage on our house. Every one of our credit cards was maxed out. I mean, it was just, we really had to talk about this and we had this discussion and, and he said, you know, listen, I'm, I'm fine with who we are. Like I love who we are. I don't feel like.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (19:57.282)
this is going to make or break us. don't feel like, you know, it's just, I'm good, but I want you to be happy and I want you to be content with your life. And I said, you know, if I'm being honest, I don't know that I will be without children because I know what that means to me. And I said, if you don't want to, you know, if you didn't want to move through with it, that's, I have to respect that of you, right?

to your life too. But I don't know that I can move on not trying, not getting an answer from this doctor, at least something where I have closure because I felt like there would be a resentment there. so, you know, he's wonderful in the fact that he just said, if that's what you need, then we need to take that step. But it was, I mean, it was a long conversation. It was a hard one because

We both really had to kind of talk through our truths and how we really felt about it. Hmm. You know, that's, that's probably a, a point in marriages. You know, I'm not a marriage counselor by any means, but I'm sure that's a point in many marriages that, there is a, there's a line there. It's like, you know, I've got to do this. So, you know, and you just need that support. I'm glad you guys worked it out.

And yeah, you know, but the flip side is there's, there's also got to be a line where you say, we can't do this. Can't continue doing this. yeah, like how long do we do this? How long, how many rounds do you finally say, okay, that's enough. Okay. That's enough. And the, the really, really frustrating thing, I think for me, once we went through this and I really started diving deep into starfish and

you know, all the other things was learning how simple the fix is for most people. You know, when we talk about, obviously I do legislation now and I've worked with Tennessee fertility advocates and I know we'll talk about that. But when I started getting into that, know, learning so much about how little help that most people need, they just assume that

Jason & Mindy Hoover (22:19.438)
Coverage means everybody gets IVF. You get IVF and you get IVF and you get IVF and we're gonna pay for everything. finding out that 97 % of people struggling need medication. They need a medication to regulate their cycle. The man needs medication for motility. There's such simple fixes and the younger you are,

the simpler that fix is. And so had I gotten help when I was in my early thirties, I may not have even needed IVF down the road because I could have helped whatever it was, you know, with the endometriosis and my husband and you know, we had it both sides, but we might've been able to fix those issues years before instead of saving, saving, saving.

and then dumping everything into one IUI. Nope, that didn't work. Now you got to save, save, save, save. So, you know, a year goes by and another year goes by. mean, you just get older, your eggs get older, you know, all the things. it's, that's the disheartening part is if people were able to get the help they needed when they needed it, it would be a far, you know, far simpler journey for most people. And I didn't know.

That's my ignorance. didn't know that if you got the right medication early on, you wouldn't have to deal with that. Most people, most people wouldn't. Now that's not to say that everybody wouldn't. Sure. But you know, at right now, really 97%. That's crazy. That is very crazy. And that's why people, 97 need medication. The other three would have to go into IVF. But I mean, that's just, that's, it's crazy to me that that's even a question.

But that's information that you have accumulated and have available for people when they contact Starfish, which I would love to hear how you got your name. So the gym I go to is called Remove here in Nashville, or Mount Juliet. there's trainers in there that come teach the class every day. And I had a trainer, his name was Alex.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (24:38.518)
And he used to tell these stories. Just they were motivational, but it was like we had story time. It's like we were a kindergarten class really. But he was phenomenal. He was great. And he always told the best stories. And it was at a time where I was very overwhelmed with starting this foundation because I in my head thought now that I was open about it, obviously the floodgates had opened for everybody to talk to me about it. And I thought, geez, I didn't realize.

all these people needed help, right? That there were so many people looking for something. And I thought, how in the world am I going to one person help all these people? And it was to the point right then that I had kind of shut it down. All the research I had done to look into a 501c3, I had kind of almost stopped because it was so overwhelming. And I thought, it won't matter anyway. What could it possibly matter?

And so we were in class one day and we asked for story time. And so he obliged and gave us story time and told us the story of the starfish. And, you know, basically, if you haven't heard it, it's, you know, little boy and his grandfather walking down a beach and it's just covered with sand with starfish that have washed up on the ocean or from the ocean. And every once in a while, you know, the granddad leads down and he picks one up and he throws it back in the ocean.

And he just does this every few steps and the little boy says, what are you doing? He says, well, I'm saving starfish. And he says, yeah, but you cannot possibly save them all. There's thousands of them. And he picks one up and he throws it back and he says, no, but I just saved that one. And it was, that's it. mean, tears in class. Cause I thought that's what I needed. I mean, that was, you know, that godly kick in the butt that says,

You don't have to fix everybody. You don't have to help everybody. Even if you do this for one person, you've changed their life. And so that was my mindset going into it. And I think a lot of us had that mindset at first that if I can't fix all of it, then what does it matter? you know, that even isolates you as well. It's like, but when you know that you're making an impact and it's that

Jason & Mindy Hoover (27:06.476)
that wave in the water that it keeps going and growing and impacting others. We never truly understand how far reaching what we do, how far reaching it gets to other people and impacts them. you even the people that, you you personally are impacting, those people are impacting others and others and others. So.

Yeah, it's, you know, I say that to encourage other people. If you're thinking about doing something, you step away. Don't try to say I've got to do it all. I've got to build a huge organization. Just start with one person and then grow from there. Right. I do want to share, if you don't mind, I, wrote out your, your kind of a mission statement. It was on your website and I loved it. And so I wanted to read this for everybody at Starfish Infertility Foundation. Our mission is to provide hope.

support, and financial assistance to individuals and couples navigating the challenges of infertility. We are dedicated to empowering those on their journey to parenthood by funding treatments, offering educational resources, and fostering a compassionate community. I love that community. Through our efforts, we aim to alleviate the emotional and financial burdens of infertility, ensuring that everyone has the opportunity to build the family they dream of.

I mean, that's straight from the heart right there. That is straight from the heart. Yes. So you got the name for your organization. Was it easy just to get it started and get going? It took me, I believe it took me about 10 months to get my 501C3. I had decided at the beginning, I wanted to run it the way I wanted to run it.

And so when I filed for it, they said, listen, we'll approve you for, I can't remember what it was called, but was basically you raise money and then give it to another foundation. And I thought, no, no, no. I want to know what's going on with my donors' money. And I wanted to keep, I had always said I wanted to keep the foundation volunteer. So I wanted every single dollar that came in as a donation to go.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (29:27.31)
back out in a grant. If people were donating $10 ,000, I wanted them to know that we were giving out $10 ,000 in a grant. And I couldn't do that giving the money to somebody else. I didn't know what was going to happen to it. And I'm very predictive of that. So I kept fighting it and saying, that's great, but that's not what I want. I want to keep going. And I must have gone back and forth with the IRS six or seven different times before they finally said, maybe just to shut me up, but like, fine, here, take it.

you can have the 501c3. And so that's what I did. And it took me about, yeah, I guess about 10 months in 2015. And then we gave our first grant out about a month later. Wow. And that's also on your website. You call it mini grants or is that... So we do have mini grants now. So it's two separate things. They're different things, Can you expand on those two?

So our major funding that comes in is probably 90 % personal, just donations, $20 here, $20 there. They add up, obviously. We're signed up with Kroger. So if you shop at Kroger and you choose Starfish as your funding source, then they donate a portion to us as well. And all of those little things just keep adding up. And so then we will open large grants. So those are up to $10 ,000 for people needing it.

You apply online and we do those, we probably open those twice a year, depending on our funding, obviously. But we started something new that we just did last month was our first one and they're just mini grants. People want to get to know these couples that they are donating to, which is understandable. And so we chose a couple and we basically spent the month of July, it happened to be my birthday month. And so was like, this is what I want to do for my birthday.

So we put them out there and they would share videos of kind of what they were going through and their journey and their story and what children would mean to them and their struggles. And it was a really great month of kind of following this couple. And in the meantime, I said, any money that came into Starfish would be directed to them. And so in a month, we were able to raise them $1 ,700 to go.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (31:51.65)
to whatever they needed it to go to, medication, the clinic, anything like that. And that was just, that was a really huge, it's not just about the money, it's a huge boost of people are praying for you, they're involved in your story, they're there for you, they send you messages. I mean, it just really kind of brought them into a fold of a whole other group of community that they didn't have before.

So it was a really, so we're going to try to do those every few months as well. Cause no one wants to, no one wants to get the, send, send money every month. So we'll try to spread it out. Right. And, know, just personalizing it, you know, humanizing the situation, I think is so important too. you know, they're like, yeah, like you said, just give the organization some money, but seeing the face of the people that you're touching, you know, I think that means a lot to the community. It does definitely.

And so y 'all been operating this since 2015, is that right? Correct. 10 years next year. Yeah. during that time, and you touched on it just a bit earlier, that you've gotten involved in legislation. Yes. So I received a random phone call one day from a girl named Molly Walker. And she said, is this the Kara Edwards from the starfish?

Infertility Foundation. said it is and we ended up on the phone for three hours. The girl is like my sister, you know and top top top top. Well, she had just she and her she and her friend her best friend Lauren. They started this this Tennessee fertility advocates group on Facebook and it was hey listen, we really want to get some legislation going. We think this should be covered.

would, do you want in? You know, do you want to help? We would love to have your help and your feedback and your, I was like, absolutely, I'm in. So over the next, I don't know, probably six months, it was all talking to legislators and then Molly would come up, she's in Memphis and she would come up and we would actually go, you know, to the Capitol and we would talk to the legislators. We met with the governor, Governor Lee as well. it was, we were told from the beginning,

Jason & Mindy Hoover (34:19.948)
by quite a few people, you will never get this past the first round. Republicans will not go for this. It is an insurance, we're not adding any more insurance mandates. We've already told our constituents we're not adding them. So it's never gonna happen. Well, they didn't realize that one in six people goes through this. So what are the chances that none of these legislators have ever been through this?

or their daughter or son or whatever hasn't been. I cannot tell you how many of those legislators that we would sit down in front of and they would say, yeah, I'm in. No, that's fine. That sounds great. That's great. I mean, it was the easiest sell, I guess, as far as that went. The ones that we came across, their biggest

You know, for them it was, we said we wouldn't add any more mandates. People have to pay for that, you know, with inflation. like it's just, it's too much. But we started to show them that first of all, what we had gotten back was it was less than $1 per member per month that was going to be added. We're talking very minimal. This was not, people thought their insurance would go up by a hundred dollars a month. That's not what it was. So we were able to show that.

But we were also, we're also able to show, and this is something that we use now in businesses because after we went through, we passed multiple stages. On the Senate side, with both Democrats, Republicans, we had a bipartisan bill at the end of it. We ran into a snag at the end just for a completely different reason.

And we thought, let's just pull it for right now until we can kind of get this all back together. Because, know, one half wants certain rights, the other half doesn't. And it was just going to end up at the Supreme Court and it was going to be stagnant at that point. So, but we had done a lot. We had brought a lot of awareness to it and whatnot. So we were really proud of that. But so what we have gone back to now,

Jason & Mindy Hoover (36:40.378)
is now we try to talk to businesses about why it's beneficial for them to add it at their own place of work. So there is a rider that can be added to your health insurance for your employees. Right, there is. So Cigna, for instance, is an insurance company. They offer it for their own employees. Why would that be? They're an insurance company. know how to save money, right?

So we went in, for instance, this one I did last year, Wilson County Schools here in Tennessee wanted to add it. Somebody had brought it up. They wanted to add this progeny type to their plan. And there were, there's five or six board members and one was for it. The rest of them were against it. And they said, it doesn't make sense. We're going to add more, you know, to our insurance. It's going to cost more on and on.

I get that you're being great stewards of the money, right? So I got on the phone with each of them and I said, listen, I just want to talk you through this. I just want to show you how beneficial this is. And I took an example of another school district here. They had somebody go in and triplets and it cost them over a million dollars. Okay. Goodness. Why did it?

cost them a million dollars. Well, she had triplets. Well, why did she have triplets? Well, because when you are paying out of pocket for what you're doing, you wanna get your biggest bang for your buck, right? So you will routinely do an IVF that consists of placing back one, two, three embryos, because each time you do a transfer, it costs money. I put back three at one time. I'm five foot two.

There's, I don't know what I was thinking, right? But we were spending so much money and the couple transfers before hadn't worked that I thought, well, just, guess, put them all back. You know, let's try it that way. So you're making decisions based on your pocketbook instead of your health, instead of what you really should be. And listen, when you're desperate, you do those things. So if you could take the desperation of the financial out of it,

Jason & Mindy Hoover (39:06.348)
you wouldn't mind placing one at a time, right? So they found, they saw this district found that if they could take that out of their hands where they didn't have to worry about that piece of it, they weren't gonna have triplet pregnancies for the month, right? I mean, it could still happen, but realistically. And so not only that, but they were able to show that it really helped retain their teachers, their staff.

It brought in some phenomenal new talent because this is, listen, one in six are going through this. And so if they can come in and know that that is there in case they need it. And it's not an open -ended free for all, right? There's limits. But it just, makes sense to save the money, you know, on the back end. And so they went back and voted. It was unanimous. And so Wilson County Schools now has coverage.

for their teachers and employees for a couple of rounds. I mean, who knows how many lives that's gonna affect, right? Because this is just ongoing, but they will also see a benefit, the school district will see a benefit because they won't have these huge ridiculous insurance claims with multiple pregnancies either. Yeah. Wow, that's amazing. When you go down that path, you just don't realize just the impact over and over and over.

how you turned it around and showed how it would positively impact businesses and school systems. Man, that is fantastic. Yeah. I mean, I'm kind of blown away. I did not realize it was one in six. Honestly, I didn't realize too that it was considered a disease.

you know, there's a lot of ignorant people like me out there that, hopefully, you know, you know, talking about it, getting it out, you know, like what this podcast and other means that it starts to educate the population so that, you know, you know, the, insurance, things like that does cover it. And I didn't, guess where I'm going with that was that when you said people are make, you know, are making decisions based on their pocketbook rather than their health.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (41:30.754)
that's, that was so heavy. That, wow, that we should not be doing that. Yeah. Especially here. mean, in America, I mean, we should not be making, we should not be making people make that decision. Yeah. I mean, it's like in the nineties when you had people that were going way above, you know, with the implant and you're having like the set tuplets and the octuplets and it's crazy. And, but it came down to like you were saying, it was so expensive. They're like,

just throw them all in, know, hopefully at least one will take and then oops, they all took. You know, you have that. I mean, it can happen. It can happen. I mean, it really can. I mean, you can, you can always have eggs that split or embryos that split, but that's normal life too, right? Right. Right. Plenty of twins and triplets that are natural too. But you know, for the most part, it's just a, it's a very, people need to understand more. I have a lot of people I'll tell you that don't,

didn't even realize it wasn't covered. What do mean? What do you mean it's not covered? It's not covered. They don't realize that that type of thing is not covered. And it should be because it is a disease. It's no different. mean, we'll cover lung cancer and we'll cover diabetes and we'll cover things that sometimes somebody has walked a road that has led them there. This is not one of those things.

Right. You know, and so it's really sad. The other, you military absolutely. When we talk about military families, just our very, very first grant that we gave out in 2015 went to a couple that he was a military, he was a Marine. And I just remember reading their story and thinking about all

that he had given up for this country. He had served multiple tours, put his life on the line for years. And he came back and needed help to have a child. And we basically said, tough. That's not part of our package for military. Not part of what we offer. Too bad. You know, his wife had been without him for months or a year at a time. You know?

Jason & Mindy Hoover (43:59.054)
she had had given up so much of her life. Sorry, this makes me really upset, but she had given up so much of her life and her marriage to stand behind him and to support what he was doing. And he wasn't doing it just for them. He was doing it for every single one of us. And then we couldn't bother to return the favor of saying, need help? Let us help you. And it just,

It made me so embarrassed that that's the way we treat them. angry, very angry. And so they received our first grant. And that next spring, I got a phone call from her, from Tracy, and she said, I have to tell you something, and she's sobbing. And she said, I just found out I'm pregnant. And I just thought, you've got to be kidding me.

What? And it was almost like when I found out I was pregnant. You know, like it was that same feeling inside and just tears, you know, of happiness. And so they went on and had a little boy that, you know, who is just, this kid is hysterical. His name's Duncan and he is the funniest kid you've ever seen. And so, you know, I'll see him occasionally or whatever, which is great. He has a little brother now.

But just for it to be the first grant, somebody that had this couple that had given up so much for everybody around them to finally have this baby and to finally see them kind of really start this family and go, that's when the starfish story really hit. Because I thought even if it's just this one, everything's been worth it. Everything I went through to get to this point.

to start this foundation, maybe it was just for this little boy. Maybe it was just so Duncan could be born for some reason that I don't know. It really hit home with, listen, I'm gonna keep going, I'm gonna keep trying. But even if it's just for this one little life that is here, it made it all worth it. And I do it again 100 times. Now to this point, now we're in 2024. How many babies have been born that Starfish has been a part of?

Jason & Mindy Hoover (46:27.918)
Let's see, we just had, I think it's our 12th last month and we have two, I believe that are pregnant now. That's amazing. So you'll have 14 hopefully by the end of the year or in spring. That's incredible. is. Yes. And just think, you played a role in that and those lineages of families that are going to come from it.

But you know, I don't necessarily look at it as I played a role. I feel like I put it together. But to me, it's more about the donors played a role in that, right? Like, I don't have the money to just give out. It's everybody, it's this community of people that have come together to start that lineage or to keep that lineage going. so when we do, it was great. They do a golf tournament in Arizona.

and they just have their second one. Well, at their second one, at this one, this past one, they had the couple that they, that we awarded a grant to from it the previous time come in with their baby girl. And it was like, listen, you guys all enjoyed a day of golf and had fun and had some drinks and had dinner and da da da da da. This is what you created by doing that. That's awesome. I mean, you know, so when you put it in, in that it's, it's, literally comes from every little piece everywhere.

comes together, I just bring it all together. That's really all I'm doing is bringing it together. But then they play golf for a day and there's this precious little girl because of that, you know? And it just doesn't get much sweeter than that.

That is a very sweet story. know, and I like that they shared their child with the people that were donating. And that makes it real. It makes it very real. So do you think it's important for people to continue writing to their legislators?

Jason & Mindy Hoover (48:40.172)
you speaking up about this. I do. Really, there's there's. There are more people talking about it, but it's still it's still very much a stigma, you know, to walk around admitting that you have an issue, especially with men, even though it's, know, a third of it is is female, third of it is male, and the other third is is some combination of the two of them.

And there are, because there aren't a ton of people talking about it still, to think of the number of one in six just sounds a little bit ridiculous, right? It sounds a little crazy that it's really that high. And I think our legislators need to hear it and they need to feel it that no, it's true. We're out here and we need help. you know,

some one of the senators had said, you know, well, I kind of in a rural area. doesn't matter. It's still one in six. Right. It's one in six in your rural area. And now that you're in a rural area, how much help do you think they're going to get? Exactly. Yeah. Right. Like it's even worse for you. Like you should be the one standing up for them saying, hang on a second. I've got an entire county of farmers out here. can't. Yeah.

The disposable income is not there to throw seven to 30 ,000 at a doctor. And so sometimes they're saying, you know, they don't have, they don't have the income to add to their insurance bill, a dollar per member per month. Well, then where do you think they're going to come up with the help? Right. Like where they can, you should be the one fighting for them because guess what? It's still one in six. It's not only one in six, just in Metro Nashville, right? It's one in six.

everywhere. So they actually need more help than you think they do. And so they need to start hearing. You know, I think the more they hear from people saying, yes, I've lived through this. Yes, my daughter's going through this. Yes, we need this help. They just need to hear that. Yeah. So how can people help? What are what are some ways that people people can partner with and donate money through your organization? Well, obviously, donations are always welcome, right?

Jason & Mindy Hoover (51:03.47)
They're the heart of how we run this and where our grants come from. have a lot of companies. How do they do that? Is it through the website or do They go online, right? There's a donate now button. We're coming out with a whole new website here shortly, but right now there's, and there will still be a donate button, but you just, get on there and donate. It's very simple. It's tax deductible because it's a 501c3. Businesses, we're always looking for grants.

We love when somebody donates for something or in someone's name. We love to name the grants. So when I first started, our grants were the Bexley Grant and the Braxton Grant named after our twins. And so we gave them out in their name. And now what I love is we have couples that have now had children and they now come back and raise money themselves.

for a birthday fundraiser or whatever on Facebook, let's say, and they donate all that money in their child's name. And then we have a grant after that baby to now give out to someone else, which I think is the most amazing thing ever. It is amazing. So we do a lot of that. We've had people donate that have said, you listen, I've got a grandchild is an IVF baby or a daughter or whatever. And it's we want to donate this five thousand dollars or it doesn't even have to be that.

We would love a grant in her name. Great. Let's do it. So anytime we can get people involved and excited about what we're doing is really neat too. And just so that everybody knows, we'll have in the show notes, the link to your website. But would you just share what that website is for everybody? Yes, it is www .starfishinfertilityfoundation .org. Great.

Well, Kara, you've been such a blessing and to so many, and I know you're going to continue to do that. And we are just so honored to have you here on our show today. And I think it's about time to wrap it up. Yeah, Kara, your story is so inspiring. And we can definitely tell that it's your heart that leads you. And that's why we are honored that you came on today.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (53:28.758)
You truly are. love your humbleness too. You you're very humble, people with big hearts are like that, but make no mistake that, yeah, you're organizing it, but you, you are central in that, that you're impacting people's lives. And so we thank you for being that community hero here in the Nashville area. And we look forward to hearing more stories and you know, it's,

fascinating to know that there are going to be families and generations because of people like you that are putting this together and that you're getting donors and you're finding people need helps and you're going to the Capitol and fighting for help. So thank you, Kara. I appreciate that so much from all of us, actually.

to our listeners. appreciate y 'all listening in once again. This has been another touching episode. think every episode, I I just get chills every single time. I love this. I love talking to people like Kara and I appreciate y 'all listening in. if you are able to donate, if you're able to share the story and get it out, please do.

because that's what it's about is getting more people to talk about these things that are happening and people needing assistance. So please share it, please talk about it if you can donate. But yeah, thank you, Kara. You matter to us and you matter to Nashville and to our listeners. Thank you for listening and we will see and talk to you all soon. Thanks for having me. You bet. All right. Bye for now.

And that brings us to the end of another episode of You Matter Nashville. We hope today's show has left you feeling as uplifted and inspired as we are. Remember, the spirit of Nashville lives in all of us, and every small act of kindness echoes throughout the community. A huge thank you for listening and even being a part of our You Matter community. If you love this episode, please share with friends and leave us a five -star review. It helps us reach more listeners and spread the love. And if you know anyone that is looking to make a move to Middle Tennessee area,

Jason & Mindy Hoover (55:48.162)
We are real estate professionals known as the Hoover Team, and we would be honored to serve them with excellence. Until next time, keep making a difference, Nashville. You matter more than you know.