You Matter Nashville

My Friend's House with Tanassa Pillow and Christine Foell

• Jason and Mindy Hoover • Episode 13

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We had the privilege of welcoming two extraordinary guests from My Friend's House: Executive Director, Tenasa Pillow, and Fundraising and Development Coordinator, Christine Foell. My Friend's House is a Middle Tennessee organization dedicated to providing safety, structure, and a nurturing environment for at-risk boys aged 12 to 17. Through counseling, therapeutic programs, and an abundance of community support, they help these young men believe in themselves, transform negative behaviors, and set paths toward brighter, more hopeful futures.

Our conversation delved into the heart of My Friend's House’s mission: to offer these boys a safe place to heal and grow, whether that ultimately means reuniting them with family, connecting them with a foster family, or guiding them toward independence. We heard emotional success stories—like a teenager discovering his love for cooking at a local steakhouse, or a young man finally finding a forever family. Their testimonies show us the profound impact of consistency, compassion, and community engagement.

We also learned about the annual Mardi Gras Ball, a major fundraiser that contributes essential funding to the organization, as well as year-round volunteer opportunities—from teaching life skills to donating toiletries. My Friend's House relies on the kindness of local churches, businesses, and individuals who wish to pour into these young lives. Listening to Tenasa and Christine, we felt reminded that truly every gift, large or small, can spark hope in a child’s life.

Key Takeaways

  • Mission & Programs: My Friend's House serves boys 12 to 17 who have experienced abuse, neglect, or other challenges. Their structured environment focuses on life skills, therapy, and relationship-building so these teens can eventually reunify with family or transition to foster care or independent living.
  • Daily Routine: From structured chores and homework time to weekly group therapy and community activities, the team ensures the boys have consistency, accountability, and plenty of fun.
  • Success Stories: We loved hearing about the boy who found employment at a local steakhouse, the budding rapper showcasing his talents at a school pep rally, and the teenager who finally connected with a forever family. Every success reaffirms that care and guidance can alter the course of a child’s future.
  • Volunteering: There are countless ways to get involved, whether that’s “Chef of the Night” (teaching the boys how to cook), mentoring, or helping with transportation to extracurriculars. Skilled trades like welding or carpentry are also highly valued, and volunteers go through a background check for the kids’ safety.
  • Support & Donations: My Friend's House accepts toiletry items, clothing, and monetary donations. Their “Friend of a Friend” monthly giving program is an easy way to contribute consistently. They also maintain an Amazon wishlist for specific needs.
  • Mardi Gras Ball: Held each February, this vibrant fundraiser combines good food, lively music, and a festive Mardi Gras theme. Every dollar supports My Friend's House’s programs, services, and the important day-to-day needs of the boys.
  • Community Collaboration: Partnerships with local nonprofits, churches, businesses, and caring individuals make My Friend's House possible. Everyone’s collective efforts remind these teenagers that hope and kindness are within reach.

My Friend's House
https://myfriendshousetn.org/

You Matter Nashville YouTube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/@YouMatterNashville

The Hoover Team
https://www.thehooverteam.com/

Jason & Mindy Hoover (00:00.098)
Hey, Nashvilleans, welcome to the You Matter Nashville podcast, the place where every story we share is a celebration of you, the heartbeat of our community. I'm Jason Hoover, delighted to be one half of your hosting duo. And I'm Mindy Hoover, joining you alongside Jason to bring the stories of inspiring individuals and unsung heroes making a positive impact right here in our hometown. Every episode is about passions, dreams and actions that stitch together the Middle Tennessee community. So if you're looking to get inspired by the good happening around us,

Or if you want to hear from the change makers who believe, just like us, that you matter, then hit that follow button on your favorite podcast platform. And if you are looking to make a move in the middle Tennessee area, and Dan and I are real estate professionals and would be honored to serve you with excellence. Now let's dive into another episode of You Matter Nashville.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (00:52.216)
Welcome back to You Matter Nashville. Today we had the pleasure of speaking with two incredible ladies who are making a remarkable difference in our community. Tanasa Pillow, she is the executive director and Christine Fahl, she is the fundraising and development coordinator for My Friends House, which is a middle Tennessee organization that provides care, guidance and hope to at-risk boys. Through their programs and support, My Friends House is helping these young men overcome challenges and build paths to brighter futures.

D'Nassa and Christine, we're so excited to have you here today. Thank you for having us. We're excited to be here. We're honored to be here. Well, to start us off, can you tell us about My Friends House and the inspiration behind its mission and how you help support just the at-risk boys in Franklin? Our program, My Friends House, Family and Children's Services was founded originally by Judge Jane Franks in Williamson County. It's a nonprofit organization. We've been around since 1982.

We serve male youth between the ages of 12 to 17 with those at-risk behaviors. And our program is the only one of its kind in Middle Tennessee in that we aren't actually a home. We are structured to provide safety and a balance for our young men here in our program to better prepare them to deal with some of those trauma situations that they've gone through and encountered in life.

and to help support them so they can eventually reunify with either their biological families or potential foster families. And you know, just we have a teenage boy at home. So I know just how wonderful they can be sometimes and just how challenging they can be at times. Oh, Yes. And, you know, having a whole home full, I know that has lots of surprises. I taught at Centennial High School and knew some of these boys way back when when I was there.

And I love what you do. Jason loves what you do. So I'd love to dive in and hear about what you guys do with these guys in this home. You don't just feed them and clothe them and give them a place to live. So I really want to hear about this program. Thank you, Mindy. It really is an honor to work with these young men. I mean, a lot of them by no fault of their own, you know, they were severely abused, neglected, and really just left to be in the state, you know, state custody.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (03:19.648)
And so our home just provides, like you said, safety and love. And we really try and help these boys in whichever way we can to just foster them to know how loved they are. And I must add that, I'm so sorry. No, go right ahead, On any given day, we do have a pretty, structure and routine is important to us.

So the boys come in from school, they have generally from about 3.30 to four o'clock to have a snack and then a little bit of whether it's tutoring time from four to five or we do outsource for group therapy. So we had two individuals in the community to offer group therapy, one of which was our resurgence program.

Miss Dinkins, who I'd like to give her some recognition because she has actually been providing that service to my friend's house. That's amazing. years. Wow. So they go to that once per week. Then they come home and we can tell you a little bit more about what that community involvement looks like. Because if we have community involvement, there is a couple of hours identified for that and they have their chores and then there's bedtime. So Monday through Friday is pretty structured.

for these young men and we do have a lot of fun here in the meantime, but we have to provide that structure because again, we're preparing them to return home to their families. So we want to be able to create that expectation here of once you go home, this is what we want to transfer that expectation to what they would have at home, if that makes sense. Yeah, absolutely. And so these

these kids, come to your program. How does that happen? So our children are, we are a subcontracted agency right now through OmniVisions. So we are part of what you would call their continuum program. So any child or youth that's male that fits our criteria, that's in custody, we would either get a referral through them or directly through the Department of Children's Services.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (05:35.764)
In that process, it is my job to review everything that I'm given based on demographics, historical and current behaviors, support what that looks like and their needs overall. And then it's ultimately my decision to determine if that particular youth will be a good fit for our program. And what things that they need, therapies and everything, the support that they need.

So pretty much all of these kids have been taken from their homes from different situations that can happen by the state. And as we all know, there's usually not a long line of people wanting to take on teenage boys. know, it's different than taking on a five-year-old, you little girl or something like that. So organizations like yours are so needed for placement. And that is exactly right.

Mindy, everyone wants the six month old little baby, right? But a 12 to 17 year old male, like you said, so, you know, thank God that we have my friend's house and thank God that it's funded by people who are so giving in Williamson County and in the state of Tennessee really, because we couldn't do it without them. And I will say, I've been around in this field a long time. I've dedicated my entire adult career to working with at risk youth. So for me,

I always tell people because the older child is what I love to work with. Give me those challenging kids that, know, a lot of people out of, whether it be fear or just the unknown for them. I love that because those, that group of children that are older are the ones that we can actually mold. We have that ability and that chance to help mold into a productive adult. And for me,

That's just how I love kids, regardless of the age, but the older ones who are deemed to be a little more challenging, that's where my heart lies because not a lot of people can do this job. It is truly a calling. Agreed. And it takes those people who I've dedicated my life around the passion to do it. And I tell the boys almost every day, don't give up on yourself. You did not play a role in a lot of what you experience in life.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (08:00.8)
And the things that you have gone through does not define where you're going. So we talk about that weekly. love that. I love that. Yeah. That positive affirmation is so, so important. And they probably been just beat down by the world. absolutely. And there's a lot of anger. Yes. A lot of deep rooted resentment. yes. So I can, I can only imagine how they come in, but I

I can already see the heart within the two of you of how it's fortunate that they have some people like you that can help them. like you said, mean, it's not everybody can do that. yes. when they are rehabilitated, is that a good word to say? It is. Yes. Okay. Once they are rehabilitated,

You said they're either returned back to their home or to foster care. Is that correct? That's correct. Is there like a period of time that you work to make that transition smooth? Yes. Generally our program is three to six months, however it can exceed six months. try to, every child in the custody of the state of Tennessee comes with what they call a permanency plan.

there's not only the behaviors identified and how severe or less severe that behavior is, there's also supports identified. And if there's a support system, we always say, and we always hear it takes a village, it truly does. So just because a child doesn't reunify with their biological parent doesn't mean there will not be someone in that direct support system that they don't reunify with. So it may be a...

church member or a neighbor. So during that three to six months, what we do is provide them with the individual, the group, the family therapy. They have group to deal with conflict and how to deal with when you're upset, what that structure and households look like. Because a lot of our youth come to us 15, 16 years old, that foundation was not set for

Jason & Mindy Hoover (10:27.734)
rewarding and consequence in those behaviors. A lot of them have seen and been exposed to so much, they've really grown up quicker than they should have. So we have to come in 15, 16 years later to say, can't do that. And this is what that consequence will be if you do. So it's tough. I will say for me, I absolutely love it. Couldn't see myself doing anything else.

there are days that's like, oh my goodness, like I'm on year 25 now. But when I think back to, always say you may not be able to save each and every child that comes through our program, but if you can reach at least one, that our work has been done. That's right. And we have, we have reached many children. That's right. So, and you know, to be clear, reunification is the goal. But unfortunately,

If a child has been severely abused, whether that is physical, sexual, that is not possible. So that's where foster care or adoption comes into play. Is that fair to say? That is fair to say because a lot of our youth that come through have had parental rights terminated. Correct. So in that case, we have to assess other options and a lot of those options are getting a foster home placement.

How many teenagers do y'all have at any given time? Currently, we have five. We can have up to eight males here. And so we're working to get back up to our eight. And so you can only imagine, we have a lot of fun here. Our days are never alike. No one day is the same. So typically we have eight youth in our program.

And what's the support staff? What does that look like? So currently we have 11 direct care staff and their job is primarily they're hired to offer that support, that supervision that we have to have because with a level two group home setting, you have to have that 24 seven supervision. Yeah.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (12:44.502)
So they have the ability to do groups with our residents. They can take them out and do community projects. We have a lot of fun activities that we actually do. We do have a level system. So based on their level, a lot of rewards are tied into that. And then it gives the ones that are on like say level one, which is that ground level motivation to work toward moving up levels.

Okay, so level system. So in the level system, what do they have to do in order to go up in status? Good question. So to move up, there's several different things they have to do based on each level. So for instance, just to give you a general idea, there's chores, there's group participation. So any participation and being compliant and taking medications, that plays a role in that.

It's not something that we hinder progression if they refuse it, however, as far as medication, but chores, being respectful. I was gonna say that. Making your bed, extra chores. That's right. And being involved in anything like we have a lot of volunteers that come here and dedicate their time. So we also look at that interaction. And so based off of

purely as a behavioral system and it's designed because we need to be able to track their progression through our program. I'm sorry. no, I was just agreeing. Yeah, right. It is a, I I love that. I mean, from being a teacher and just a parent myself, I mean, we, we really value like even our own kids being involved in the home and helping out doing chores and

just through having part of the responsibility. think kids need to have responsibility in the place that they live. gives them pride and a sense of belonging. So I love that. And I I like that system that it gives them a direction to be, you know, to be better. That's right. And instead of just saying, you know, come in here and like, you just do chores. You just do this, do what I'm telling you to do.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (15:06.474)
It gives them something to work towards that it's a positive reinforcement. like that. And they're so proud of themselves when they see me. It's Christine I leveled up. They're doing esteemable acts and esteemable acts create self-esteem. Yeah. And when our boys come to us, a lot of times they're hopeless, right? And so we want to instill hope. And I feel like the level system does do that because they're so proud of themselves when they level up. The lack of hope is a dark place. yes it is. gold.

Yes. We actually, I always tie it back into, again, it is our job to make sure that you are getting what you need from us because it will play a role in the adult you become. So if you are able to follow rules at home, then there's a higher likelihood when you get a job and you're employed, you'll follow those rules. Because I said, believe it or not, rules don't end. When you're an adult, they actually become a little, there's a little more you have to.

you know, comply with. So we work with them daily on just, this is what level, we do level up moves once a week. So daily we're working on, this is where you are. This is what it will take for you to achieve that level. And it's so funny because they'll see me and they say, Ms. Tenasa, you know, you'll be proud of me. I moved up to level two. Now what do I need to do to move up to level three? And I always provide them.

a list just so they know because they have the right to know what do I need to work on in order to achieve in that all-star status, which is our level four. All-star. So is this a, what I'm gathering, is this a self-paced? Yes. Yes. Okay. Yes. On any given week and I make sure that I stress, if you don't move up a level, don't stress. I don't want you to think that you've done a horrible job.

however, know that everybody has room for improvement. you know, taking those baby steps, asking questions, like I said, they'll say, what do I need to do to move up to level three? So sometimes we have to kind of remind them of what's expected, but it really is a great, it's a great system to promote and reinforce positivity here in the house. So when they reach level four,

Jason & Mindy Hoover (17:27.95)
What does that look like? What's the freedoms that they start to receive or the privileges they start getting when they top out? Well, I you what, I have daughters, so I never knew how big like the gaming systems were. So the boys have a PS5 gaming system here in the house. So with that level four status, it increases their time to be able to be on the PS5. Now, it's so funny. I was just talking the other day about this. So level one starts at 30 minutes and I'm told.

that's not enough time to even get started on a game. And because I don't know, I'm like, you know what? I need to look at revamping that because I guess it is just enough time to get in and get your players going or whatever. And so the level four is the max amount of time you get increased time with the TV, increased time on a laptop, of course, with that staff supervision, of course.

you get to be able to attend school functions unsupervised. And that incentive is huge because I tell the boys, I want them to be able to have as normal a high school or a middle school experience as possible. And with that, I encourage after school activities. However, we want to make sure that you know,

what's expected of you behavioral wise. And if we can't trust you to be, you know, doing what you need to do at home, then it makes it harder to just let you loose in the community to go do those activities and you're being disrespectful or what have you. And I will say we have had a great outcome in moving up levels and also with some of the boys being able to go to those after school activities. And I actually just took one of the boys who was at level four

I just took him to a concert and we went together and he was so excited and you guys should have seen him when we were walking to my car, he opened up the door for me. It was the sweetest thing. He always brings tears to my eyes, this one specifically. And we were at the concert and he looked at me and he said, Ms. Christine, this is my first concert and I'm so happy I get to go with you. And that's why it's so purposeful. You do what you do, right?

Jason & Mindy Hoover (19:49.006)
There's no substitute for that. That's right, Jason. That's right. We have a lot of those moments here. Yes. I bet. I mean, I did his teaching, so I can't imagine being on more personal level. Now, you had mentioned interactions with volunteers in the community. So I know people would love to know what all they could do. Like, what are your needs for interactions with the boys?

That's a great question. So we're always looking, we have chef of the night. And basically what that is, is it's just anyone in the community can come in with food or they could bring food. And what we really want is the boys to learn how to cook. So when they successfully discharge from our program, they have tools. So a family, we have a lot of churches that come in and they will make, for example, they'll teach the boys how to grill steak.

and make potatoes and asparagus or pasta night. So we're always looking for volunteers to come in in the community and teach the boys how to cook. Also, if there's a trade, you know, we've had military come in and speak to the boys. If someone, you know, let's say is a very good basketball player or a fisherman, we encourage them to, you know, help with playing basketball, fishing.

And of course, our volunteers are vetted. Just, I want to throw that out there. We're not just letting anyone come in. There will be a background check taking place. There will be things of that nature. But I'd say really, that's what we look for in volunteers. And maybe even someone with a story. We have a woman who works at United Way, and that's a wonderful organization.

She went through foster care and now she's very successful. She's on the board at United Way and she's gonna come in and speak to them about her experience in foster care and how she was able to rise above. So things of that That is exactly right. There's two volunteer situations I wanna make sure I point out because how awesome, I mean, I could go on and on about how awesome a volunteer's

Jason & Mindy Hoover (22:08.61)
we have and how many. I always say because I'm out of Rutherford County, the amount of support we get here in Williamson, it is truly mind blowing. It is. And so I want to thank the community and use this opportunity to say thank you, thank you, because without you all, we couldn't do it. We had a guy that came to me that was actually a farmer and this was last spring. So we actually set up for, I told him what I would like to see the boys have their own garden.

He came in and each one of our boys, we had five at the time, had their own gardens. We grew eggplant, watermelon, green beans, peppers, the whole nine. So we did that up until the first of September. They even got to go work on his farm. All of this he did at no cost for us. He volunteered everything to us. And also,

Locally, Mr. Serratos with Serratos Steakhouse came to us back during that same time, I believe it was the spring. Conversation with him was awesome. He's such a gentleman. He wanted to do something for the boys and he wanted them to be able to come to his restaurant and learn how to make a certain meal. So what we did, we are now on their schedule and have been for almost one year.

The third Saturday of every month, our boys not only get to go learn to make a dish, learn culinary skills, etiquette, the staff that go with them and our residents get to have lunch. Yeah, that's amazing. That is absolutely amazing. It is so touching for me to see that because again, a lot of our boys have never had steak. They've never gone to a restaurant. They've never worn a suit.

So the things that we are constantly needing here at the facility that we would ask for the help of the community are toiletry items and sweats, sweat, socks, underwear, things that we take for granted every day.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (24:18.958)
So the community here, just to touch back on it, you said you have a lot of outpouring help from it. We have an amazing community. We really do. I know you probably lived other places. know Mindy and I have. And it's unmatched here. Oh, yeah. Totally. Totally. I love the people in area.

Church of the City does so much for us. Church of the City. incredible. That's awesome. They do so much for us, you know, and when you hear the pastor who is just such a wonderful human say, you know, I'm able to do this because of everyone that volunteers and all the nonprofits in the area. That's why I do my job. I mean, he's just a wonderful human and they're so selfless with us and for the boys. And you need that.

Every nonprofit needs that backbone, that help. So that's incredible. Now you guys also have a very big event every year that also helps you guys with your expenses. So tell us about that and when that takes place. Yes, we do have a very large event. It's open to the public and 100 % of the proceeds go directly to the boys into our house. It's the Mardi Gras Ball.

It's gonna be on February 8th. It starts at 5.30 and it ends at around 11 and it's going to be at the factory in Franklin. Again, it's open to the public. We usually get about 350 people that go. It's a formal event, men wear suits, women wear beautiful gowns, and it's Mardi Gras themed. Even the food, we really are very intentional with everything that we do, so.

You know, it looks like New Orleans. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing. And there's so many sponsorship tickets, there are sponsorship tables. You could sponsor an event, for example, the cocktail hour. You could sponsor the bar. People really come out of the woodworks for us. Or you could just buy a ticket and enjoy the night. We have a live band.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (26:35.458)
We are going to have a very large buffet. Tom Katz is gonna be catering it. And we thank you. Yes, thank you. We have, it's kind of like a homecoming theme. So basically what we have is we have court couples and it's gonna be three or four couples within the community. And it's.

Imagine, you know, when you were in high school and there was prom or homecomings. So four court couples are nominated and basically they get their friends to attend to donate money. And the court couple that has donated the most money wins the ball. So it's really just a fun event. There's so many people that helped put it on. What else should I ask? It's a great cause. this is

Definitely a way to give back these young men working and working with them every day and just seeing, you know, some of them being hopeless, feeling like there's nobody who loves them. And I tell them almost every day, and even when we have volunteers come to the house, do you see all these faces? Do you see all these people taking additional time out of their day? They're coming because not to prove anything to anybody.

they want to show you that regardless of your situation, they love you and they care about you. And so as a community, I say this to everybody, like we have a duty to our children here as the adults to help them in any way we can. And even if you can't attend the ball, you can make a donation to our program. We're definitely appreciative and.

it will be used for the sake of these young men. Absolutely. And another way that the community can give back even if they can't attend the ball, we have what we call a friend of a friend program. It's a monthly given program that provides the daily necessities for our children here. It provides food, clothing, counseling, and specialty program. So if anyone is interested, they can go to our website and they can give and there's no amount too small.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (28:52.534)
Right. Money adds up, So there's no amount. You know, some people just may not have it. And we totally understand that. But if you have a dollar or two dollars or twenty dollars and you want to give to the program, that's a way that you can contribute. And it will be directly deposited every single month. So some people give five dollars and we're so appreciative because that could buy us toothpaste for the month. Sure. And our website is My Friends House TN.

The Mardi Gras tickets are there. Friend of a friend. You could sign up for Chef for the Night. We have everything listed there. That's perfect. if you just want to know more about our program. When I came to my friend's house a year ago, I had never heard about our program and I've always said it's too great of a program not to get recognition because we're doing great things here. There's a lot of love, We have such a harmonious environment despite dealing with some...

behaviors sometimes, but hey, say anytime anybody who has a teenager deals with this. This is right. This is not specific to group home living. This is if you're a parent or caretaker, these are just nowadays you will be dealing with some small things with kids. Of course. So it's just our job to create a united front for them to know that you do have the support despite your situation. That's right. Beautifully said.

beautifully said. And I just want to put a plug in. Jason and I had the opportunity to go last year to the Maldives. We went with some friends. It was an incredible time. The parade was incredible. The dance floor was amazing. The food was incredible. It was.

a very special evening and we had so much fun at our table. a shiny gold jacket. I love that you got to be here this year. I think I remember seeing you. I really hope you come this year too. We would to you. Yeah, we would love to, but I just want everyone to know it is, you sometimes you go to these events and they're just kind of more talking to people. No, this is a fun.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (31:01.442)
Mardi Gras time. people top notch. And to beat the factory, it's going to be even better. Thank you. So it's yeah, I'm excited for you guys and that and so people need to buy tickets and go. So we need to get some outfits. I would love that. We'll all dance together and it really is. It is the best night. It is. It's so much fun.

I remember a lot of the outfits on that parade coming at those were just, they were big. It exceeded my expectation. really did. Like I said, last year was my first one and it was our 20th celebration that year. And I sat down after giving my speech and I literally bought like a baby because of

the amount of people who even poured into me and believed in me as the leader of this amazing organization. And then just seeing the amount of support again, 300 and something people that are there for our program. So it was an amazing, fun night. So I kind of shift this just a little bit. I want to know personally what

inspired you to get involved, both of you, what inspired you to get involved with My Friend's House? I love that. So I will say, before coming here, I worked for the Department of Children's Services, and I've been in leadership for over 20 years. And when I saw this job and read the description, for me, it was just full circle of everything that I've done.

25 years in child welfare. I've been a case manager, a child protective services investigator. I've been a behavioral intervention specialist. Like my experience is pretty extensive. And when I saw the opportunity to be able to lead and use the experience I've accumulated through the years, it was a no brainer. Now, I will say when I saw my friend's house, like I said, I never heard of this facility and I looked online and

Jason & Mindy Hoover (33:19.35)
I was like, my God, it is actually a house, a beautiful house at And I just started looking at the video clips of the last director and some of the board members and some of the, it was a young man that had been through this program before talking about how he now gets back. And I love that it was a smaller, intimate setting and

No late night visits, no home visits, driving two or three in the morning trying to find a location. And like everything is in-house. And I was inspired just because like I said, everything I've done leading up to where I was in my life, I was ready to take on this. I love it. It's been amazing. The boys are, we're family. We are family. We're family here. And even though we cycle them in and out, they come and they go.

We've had three successful discharges since August. And I tell you, with those discharges, it takes a little bit out of me because you get to know them and you're with them seven to eight months and it hurts you, like, cause they're not going to be here anymore. But they have gotten those, that one step closer to those forever homes. So with me playing a role in that, I just love that feeling. Do you get to still hear from them?

from time to time? You know, I just said earlier, one of the boys, called me right before Thanksgiving and I missed his call. So we've been playing phone tag and I'm like, I got to call him today because I tell them, keep in touch with me, please, just to let me know you're okay. while we're on the podcast, I got a message from a parent of a young man that just discharged and he's already got a job at Wendy's. yeah. So I'm so happy.

This is what we do here. We take what we have and by the end when they're ready for discharge, I guarantee you will see the changes they've made since entering into our program. And for me, it's like, okay, this is what brings it all into perspective of why you continue to do this. And it's wonderful. When I first started, I sent out an introductory letter just to our donors.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (35:36.936)
And the first letter I got back was from a gentleman. And he said, I actually successfully graduated from your program. You guys actually saved my life. And so he's in his 30s now. that touched me deeply. And I actually talk to him often. But my why, I really love this question. And I'm a Brene Brown follower on vulnerability. So I could really be vulnerable.

Here, you know, my past, I had a hard past. I really know what it's like to suffer. I come from a mental health background with substance abuse. I'm in recovery myself. And you know, my deepest pain has really become my best asset because I know what it's like to feel hopeless. And so, you know, instead, you know, I was on the wrong path for a while and then I went to the right path, you know, and

And thank God, right? Because I'm a miracle. I could have gone down a dark path. And everyone in my family that has passed on, they've passed on from addiction. Alcoholism, addiction. And so I was going down that path. And I thought, no, I'm educated, I'm capable, I need to change. And I did. And I'm a proud member of an anonymous group. And I see myself in some of these boys. And I know their struggle.

But I know what it's like to be on the other side and see the light at the end of the tunnel and walk in it and walk in the sunlight of the Spirit. And that's why I do what I do, because I know the pain, but I also know the joy that they could experience. yeah. And that gives you the ability to connect on a different level. Absolutely. And at the same time, you are breaking those generational curses.

That's right, Jason. you know, my mom, she's not one of me. She's a normie. She says all the time, you're breaking some generational trauma. And that's right. You know, and I see myself in these boys often. And so I love the fact that I could help them one small step at a time. They see it in you as well. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing that. Absolutely.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (37:58.06)
That's an incredible testimony. Thank you. Yeah. And to be able to have that. Because sometimes, I mean, I know sometimes teenagers don't listen to you unless you've actually gone through it. They're like, you're just an adult that's just telling me what to do. But then when you get down on that level, with them, they go, wow, you're a real person. You're a teenager one time and made the mistakes. so yeah, that's touching. Thank you.

I know you'd like talked about one of the stories. What are some really great success stories that you guys have seen or that has happened here recently that you'd love to share? I've got one right here right now. And if I cry, don't you guys judge me. This is fresh off the press. So we had a gentleman entering to our program in June. Not any biological family involved. Parental rights have been terminated.

Precious, precious young man, never giving us any problems. So from June until now, this month is December, I just started talking to our case manager about let's go ahead and submit for his discharge, because truly he's worked the program. We've got the holidays coming up. So of course it's always hard when the other boys are going on passes. They come and go and then this young man is the constant that's here.

Well, he told me a couple of months ago and he was like, I'm just, he said, when am I getting out of here? I said, it's coming. It's coming. I know it feels like it's taken a long time and I don't want you to give up. said, you know, I always tell them as long as I'm here, I'm, it's on my mind. It's a priority. It's coming. So the beginning of last week, we got a call that there is a

potential family that wanted him to come for what we call respite, just for a weekend to see if he'll be a good fit for their family. And he went. And so we made the announcement to him. We called him in the case manager's office and we said, I said, guess what? He said, what? I said, there's a family that wants you to come visit them for the weekend.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (40:20.204)
He opened his arms and he's not a hugger. He's not a hugger. And he gave me a big old hug. And I was like, I'm so happy for you because that's what he'd been wanting. I said, so just go have fun. Don't worry about, know, if they'll want you long time, just enjoy the moment. And so I followed up with him Tuesday and I asked him how it went. He said, it went really good. You know, well today we found out.

that they want him. They don't even want any more respite. They didn't have to see any more visits. They want to move forward and get in him. Now for us it's bittersweet because I love him. He'll be leaving me. for me, and again, here it comes, it again puts into perspective what we do. I'm a single mother and I've dedicated countless hours to this profession.

And this is why I do it. We may not see the success in every young man that we serve, but this young man that had no options and it's harder when they're older, but for this family to come through and say, we want to get him. We don't need any more visits to make that decision. He was so great. So that is truly a success because we didn't see it coming. That's amazing.

That one's fresh off the press. When they graduate and they get married and they start their own families, you know, and we have, right. And we have success stories on our website of quite a few men who've really gone on to either go to college and get educated or start a family and, you know, have a baby. it just beautiful stories of success that they could overcome anything, any adversity.

And another one, sorry. We have, through our partnership with Serados, they approached me about one of our youth that they noticed had potential and he's been employed with them since August. I took him to cash his first check a couple of weeks ago, two weeks ago. And I was like, now listen, it's a lot of money right here.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (42:40.398)
So I want you to be, you we're going to be strategic and say some, I wanted him to be able to enjoy some because he works hard. And although it wasn't his very first job, it taught a lot of discipline for him and it gave the other young men here something to look forward to. So that is a success story and he's still employed through them. And he's great. Yes.

So is he like, is he learning how to cook or is he a server? He's a cooker anyway. He's actually a food runner. Now he's one of the boys that like to cook here and he's a pretty good cook. Awesome. And he's very, he's also a rapper. Yes. And I will say this. Very proud of Miss Christine didn't get to make it with us, but a couple of us went to, he attends Centennial High and he performed, he's performed at two pep rallies and he brought the house down. It was amazing.

We'll have to ask our son. Yeah, our son, Cohen, goes to Centennial. So I'll to ask. Oh yeah, yes. So he will know about a month ago. a month ago. He performed and he's just, he's always so excited. He's actually got talent. He really does. That's the thing is that's why they're having him do it every And I'm loving they're giving him the opportunity for that. That's really great. He's so proud of himself. know. should be.

So super, super proud of him. So he's definitely going places. He already has plans to go to the studio during his Christmas home. So if you ever come here, he's going to be the one that runs up to you saying, Hey, I'm a rapper. Go to my Instagram page. I love it. So I'm sure that, you know, for them to have Instagram page and all that stuff, they have to be through their levels and have all of that.

Approved or earned. I'll take it even one step further because they can't have like their own cell phones here or they can't get on social media here at all. So this is something I'm glad you brought that Me too. This is something that he had before coming to the Tour of Penn City. So he had developed that page and so he has true raw talent and he's going places. But we've had a lot of really great

Jason & Mindy Hoover (44:53.69)
young men come through the program and we're just excited on where we're continuing to go. Well, what are some of your current challenges that you guys have going on? So one of our challenges that we are actually now a part of the Every Child Tennessee initiative, because one of the biggest concerns, especially here in Tennessee, is like when the kids age out of custody, where do they go? You know, for the ones that

don't have those forever homes or forever families, know, partnering with, I know Church of the City has the Village coming. Yes. I know that there's GraceWorks where we've talked to about options for them. That just, I think, will be a challenge for a while on if there are no opportunities for that long-term placement, where do our young men go? And just making sure that

you know, all these years we provided services and such that it doesn't undo all of that work. We just continue to try to find mentors or someone positive in their life that, excuse me, can continue to be there for them. Yeah, that in between. And I can imagine that there's not a lot of organized resources that the state has for these kids. I know that there were a lot of kids that were really

for their grades and they had so many things that they're trying to struggle with, but just trying to get into college so they would know they had a dorm waiting for them. That's right. You know, and I don't want to say we've partnered yet, but I've spoken with GraceWorks and we have a meeting to maybe see what they could offer the boys after they successfully discharged from our program. So that's in the works. More will be revealed there. They've been wonderful.

I will tell you this, you know, every single episode, Jason and I always talk about this afterwards, about how every nonprofit overlaps with another and how everyone refers them to another nonprofit. it's just, it seems like there are three or four that are overlapping and just loving on the same family or the same person. it really does take that many niche.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (47:17.132)
ways to meet the needs of people when they're in these situations. So that's beautiful. I love GraceWorks. My nonprofit was a part of them for many years. Alicia Bell over there is incredible. out. Love me so much. She's the one that came up with this. Of course she did because she's awesome. Love you, Alicia. She's wonderful. We love you, Alicia. But yeah, just the working together and that's just the spirit.

of Williamson County in middle Tennessee. I mean, we're the volunteer state, but there's just something very special here. I believe that people just want to see people succeed. Yes, I couldn't agree more. It's amazing even attending those like we had the opportunity to attend the missional banquet offered by Church of the City where all the nonprofits come together. Like I said, Every Child Tennessee, I attended a meeting last Friday. There's all these organizations.

coming together. I don't want to talk about too much there because I don't, I'm a newer member of it, but there are some awesome things coming out of that. And I'm just glad that we're able to partner up with so many awesome nonprofits and individuals who share that same passion with working with our children. Yeah. Agreed. Agreed. So before we wrap this up, would love to

touch back on how the community can actually get involved or help My Friends House out. So would you please share some of those ways? Absolutely. So the first thing I would recommend is just going on our website and checking us out. www.myfriendshousetn.org. There are different things. For example, our Amazon wish list. Christmas is coming up, right? We've compiled.

a few things that we really need around the house, whether that's for the boys or house cleaning materials. know that there's a lot that we, again, we're nonprofits. So Amazon wishlist, friend of a friend, if you want every month, if we had everyone come on our website and donate $5 a month, that would help us out tremendously. Things of that nature. And if people wanna bring clothes.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (49:35.47)
They're all clothes, you know, shoes. But I would encourage people to check out our website. Our Amazon wishlist is on our website. Ways you can get involved and please buy a ticket for Mardi Gras Malfe, if you're a ape. Yes, you won't regret that. You don't want to miss it, don't. You don't. And what about like if somebody like me that wants to get involved or volunteer, is there opportunity for that? There absolutely is.

And my contact information is on the website, my cell phone number. I've been having people reach out to me and I'll ask them, what do you want to do? Well, I'm a teacher and I would like to commit one hour a week tutoring the boys. Okay, let's get you started. So of course they'll come in. We do run background checks just because we're working with a very vulnerable population. But, you know,

If you have a trade, let's say, know, welding, something of that nature, you could teach the boys. We would really love that because unfortunately our boys have not had strong mentors in their life. So we want to give that to them. And we are working to develop a career day that I'm looking to have maybe early March. So for any individuals out there that would like to come volunteer time and talk about their occupation to encourage

young men. Of course, there's always the option of going to college. That's great. But also just kind of educating us even on what are some trades or vocations they can get involved in. In the event, they just don't think college is for them. Jason, for example, you have a real estate background, correct? I do. We actually have a young man here that is interested in realty. he wants to be a realtor. He does.

plant that seed for you, Mr. Jason's actually a realtor mentor. We expect to see you next week. Yes, we do. Am I already on the schedule? No, that's awesome. I'll have to talk some sense into him. See, there we go. I'm kidding. No, I love what we do.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (52:01.376)
Not, not as a in-depth as you, but yeah, I, I love coaching and mentoring people in this profession and seeing them build that business. So it's my own little bitty thing of, you could be of service. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Well guys, this has been an absolute joy and, I, I'm sure I speak for both of us. I mean, your heart, you have big hearts and your heart is so pure, helping these, these boys.

and transforming them lives, giving them hope again, and giving them guidance, making them feel loved. That goes such a long way. And I say this, I think almost every episode is that I know there's a lot of times that, you know, positions like this is a thankless job. But it is very much needed. And even in a community like ours.

that's a more affluent type community, there is still a great need. There is a lot of pain, a lot of hurt, a lot of mental problems. And to know that there's people like you out there making this world better, but with each child. Thank you. Thank you for your love of your heart. giving us the platform to share. So thank you. You're a part of the solution as well. Thank you.

Thank you so much. All right. Well, Tenasa and Christine, thank you so much for being on the show. You have been an absolute blessing and we're honored to have you here. And just thank you for talking about the organization and the young men that you serve and everything that you guys do here in Franklin. Yes. Thank you so much. We're honored. We're honored that you guys invited us on here to be able to talk more about my friend's house and we appreciate you and hope to see you at the ball.

We do. absolutely. All right, everybody. Thank you so much. That's a wrap for this episode of You Matter Nashville. We appreciate you always tuning in and listening to these inspiring stories and getting to know these these people that are making our community great. You know, one one soul at a time.

Jason & Mindy Hoover (54:20.928)
And so thank you, thank you, thank you for tuning in. Please, if this has inspired you or if you've enjoyed it, please share this, help us get this information out and share it with your friends, your family. We can be heard on all of the podcast platforms. We also have a YouTube channel that you can watch the episodes, which is simply YouMatter Nashville on YouTube. Thank you again, ladies. We appreciate your time. We appreciate what you do.

And Nashville, you are always in our heart. We love living here. We love knowing our community. We love getting to connect with you. Have a blessed week and always remember that you matter. And that brings us to the end of another episode of You Matter Nashville. We hope today's show has left you feeling as uplifted and inspired as we are. Remember, the spirit of Nashville lives in all of us and every small act of kindness echoes throughout the community.

A huge thank you for listening and even being a part of our You Matter community. If you love this episode, please share with friends and leave us a five-star review. It helps us reach more listeners and spread the love. And if you know anyone that is looking to make a move to Middle Tennessee area, we are real estate professionals known as the Hoover Team, and we would be honored to serve them with excellence. Until next time, keep making a difference Nashville. You matter more than you know.